Bethany Butzer, Ph.D.
Author ● Speaker ● Researcher ● Yoga Teacher

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You Are Exactly Where You're Supposed To Be

Posted on April 6, 2012 at 9:40 AM

We spend a lot of time wanting to be somewhere else. Someplace in the future. Some magical land where we have the perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect relationship, tons of money and not a care in the world. The trouble with this line of thinking is that it keeps us from appreciating the present moment.Trapped in this future-focused perspective, we fail to realize the important lessons that we're learning right now.




The fact of the matter is that each and every moment presents us with an opportunity to choose to see the perfection in our current circumstances. We might not be exactly where we want to be, but we are precisely where we're supposed to be.


It's been almost 2 years since I quit my corporate job to start my own wellness business. Sometimes I look back over this period of my life and wish that I was further along. I mean, really, shouldn't I have been on Oprah by now? ;) Sometimes I get envious of my colleagues and peers who appear to be "making it" in the self-help world faster than I am. I gaze longingly at the success of Hay House authors and kick myself for not having 30,000 fans on Facebook.


Sometimes these feelings last for a day, other times they hang over me for weeks like a dark cloud of criticism. I'm usually able to bring myself out of this illusory haze by reminding myself of two things:

  1. How far I've come
  2. The perfection of my current circumstances (even when the present moment feels difficult)

With regard to point #1, I've somehow managed to be an entrepreneur for almost 2 years. One way or another, I've paid my bills, avoided homelessness and maintained a social life while also helping people around the world create a life they love. Every day I give thanks for the fact that I get to set my own schedule, work from home, and not report to anyone. What an amazing gift.


At the same time, the life of an entrepreneur isn't always easy. My husband also started his own business around a year ago, and there have been times when money has been extremely tight. I've sometimes questioned what the hell I'm doing with my life. I've cried, I've felt discouraged, and I've contemplated giving up.


In these moments, however, I can often catch a glimpse of the fact that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. It's all part of the journey. We need to cry, we need to get upset, we need to feel. When we push our emotions down and try to fake it, we appear inauthentic and we actually stifle our progress. There are such immense lessons to be learned during our most difficult times. As an example, if I hadn't taken antidepressants for 6 years, I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing today. Those 6 years were dark and difficult, but they led me to where I am now.


In the end, the things that I've accomplished as an entrepreneur aren't half as important as the way that this work makes me feel. This is key. We spend so much time focusing on "getting stuff" to make us feel better. But as Gabrielle Bernstein says:


"Many people approach manifestation from a place of “How can I get something to feel better?” Instead, the focus should be: “How can I feel better and therefore be an energetic match for attracting more greatness into my life?”


Stop focusing so much on what you want to get or what you want to do. Instead, start focusing on how you want to feel. Ask yourself: What can I start doing right now to bring more of this feeling into my life? Don't worry about how much money or status these activities will bring your way or what other people will think of you. Because I promise that when you're inspired, the money comes. When you feel how you want to feel, people bite their tongues and become inspired by you.


With this in mind, I'd like to leave you with a few questions:

  • What lessons are you learning in your life right now?
  • How are your current circumstances contributing to your highest good?
  • What are you grateful for today?

As Tama Kieves says: "Nothing in my life is lacking, except my appreciation."

 

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4 Comments

Reply sharon jacobs
07:49 AM on April 17, 2012 
I always want to be somewhere else in my life.
You know what , I can't bend the RIVER and
I am becoming more accepting and appreciative
of my life.
Reply Tony McLaren
03:52 PM on April 09, 2012 
I have often heard what you appear to be talking about as the 'sacrament of the present moment'. The difficulty is trying to remember this and more adopt and become this way so that it is part of your 'way of being'.....a lifetime challenge I'm afraid!
Reply Bethany Butzer, Ph.D.
11:30 AM on April 09, 2012 
Thank-you so much for your kind words, Shannon! I can feel the honesty and authenticity in your comment. Good for you for coming so far in your recovery. Being discouraged and frustrated at times is part of the process. Let yourself off the hook and continue to accept that things are happening as they are meant to. Keep up the amazing work!!
Reply Shannon
11:21 PM on April 07, 2012 
Thanks for such a great post Bethany!
First things first, never ever give up! You are doing such an amazing job with your business and I know you are helping so many people around the world. You truly have come so far and it is incredibly inspiring.
I really enjoyed this post and found I could related to many aspects.
Sometimes I wish I was further along as well. I wish I was finished my undergraduate degree, as I was on track for last year. I sometimes get envious of my friends who are already pursuing masters degrees and dietetic internships. However, I did take a semester off to travel to Africa and I have absolutely no regrets about that! I learned so much about myself, especially in terms of my strength and resilience. Also, when I think about being done school and off in the working world I get butterflies in my stomach. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that, I mean I still feel like a young kid! So, it makes me realize that I probably am exactly where I need to be in terms of my education.
Furthermore, I can be quite hard on myself because I wish I was further along in my recovery from my eating disorder. I tell myself "I should be recovered by now," "I shouldn't still struggle this much," "why can't this be easier?" But, I realize that I have come extremely far, and things are improving slowly but surely. I have days when I feel very discouraged and frustrated, but after I overcome a struggle, I become stronger and better equipped to handle the next one. I am working on putting my health as my number one priority and seeking out the support I need.
I realize that I am exactly where I need to be as well. You are right that life is about the journey, not the destination. It is through our toughest times that often lead us to our greatest successes. I believe that putting hard work into my recovery will be one of my greatest accomplishments.

My current circumstances are contributing to my highest good as because I am still in school whcih allows my to remain at home with my supportive family and close to my support team.
I am grateful for my wonderful family who have stood by me through good and bad.